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Half Open Eyes


If I'd had an epiphany,
Could you imagine for me
How it must have felt bouncing
One side of my belt to the
Back of my brain,
Carrying on and arguing
In vain with itself, or you,
Making me (against my will)
Making me shiver and split,
You know,
Like in twain?

Still.

I hold myself back, I hold you
Too hard, at arm's length I'm told.
I've said it was worse before
And I still don't know my strength.
I don't scare you?
Right now, my ass needs a shaking
Out of this bed to the floor.
Out here above the fold, there is
No such thing as bravery
If I
Never suck.

Look.

Take, now grab hold of that smooth fat
Glistening black microphone
Draw it back and lob it here,
I am going to spank it.
Thing promised me.
Did you hear? A thousand ears would
Listen, it said, and that all
Their adam's apples would bob,
Underneath their bones would start
Doing
What I say.

Nope.

Bernard kills you
And Luz does not
And yet you've shown them
The same commercials
Played the same songs to both
While they're on the same drugs
Nodded to the same cashiers
Forgot to tip either one
Whistled at both of their tushies
Makes you feel kind of small, don't it?

Even today, even soaking
Inside uncountable hooks,
Verses and trailers and tracks,
A few simple hundred real
Half open eyes
That dare to make your acquaintance
Lingering fascinated
In their touching or failure
Are what your hands always pass
Along
When you fuck.


-skyler, 10Jul2002